"The best laid plans of idiots and men often go astray."

A plan: a system for achieving objective, a method of doing something that is worked out in advance.

To plan: to intend to do something, to make arrangements to do something.

To change: to make something become different, to exchange/substitute/replace something.

Change of plans: when God smacks you upside the head for making your own plans.

Being at Moody Bible Institute is a privilege and an honour. It’s considered one of the best schools for preparing the future Christian leaders that the world needs. Wherever I go, people ask about my experience at Moody.

“Do you like it? How do you feel about living in downtown Chicago? What’s your major? What year are you in? What’s your favourite class?”

But my least favourite question is this: “What do you plan to do after you graduate?”

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I want to shout...

But I don’t...

My freshman year I knew exactly what I wanted to be. A worship leader. Why? I don’t know. I just did. So I’m in the 5 year music program because it’s the best I can get out of Moody and things are going well. Then I realize I don’t want to spend 5 years in school. So I switch to the 4 year program. Then I get introduced to different aspects of classical music, and try my hand at singing on a more academic level. I try out for solos, I don’t get them. I look for a church to get involved on the worship team with. Can’t find one. Is there a group of students that want to form a chapel band? Yeah, but they don’t need me. Getting a little discouraged here...

2 years I search for a church to get involved with. The result? I was inundated with poor theology, self-praising worship bands, and cold-hearted church-goers who were only interested in the latest gossip. The decision? I don’t want to be involved in church ministry.

OOPS.

“um... cheri... you can’t say that... you’re at moody... this is where the church leaders of tomorrow are trained... you have to do church ministry. why else would you be here?”

So now I’m in my third year, which is also my senior year because I crammed everything, and I don’t want to do the job my degree is preparing me for. What if I want to be a behind-the-scenes person? What if I don’t want to be the leader? Or what if I’m just afraid to be because I’ve never done it before?

Earlier this week I had a meeting with a post-college/career development person here at school and I told him I had no experiences or skills to put on my resume. Never led, never prepared, never planned or organized anything—unless you count in-class projects or book learning, which isn’t experience anyways. He looked at me like I was from another planet. (For some reason some people don’t get the fact that it's hard to find opportunities to lead something in a community of 1000+ leaders.) I then spent the rest of the week wallowing in the fact that I was a total loser, completely unprepared for anything, even the ministry God has called me for (whatever that may be). The other day one of my friends had, jokingly, said that’d I’d probably end up working at McDonald’s after I graduated. That prospect started to look a lot more plausible and it freaked me out! I started to think about my other skill sets such as organization and multi-tasking that might end up being the breadwinners in my life and a vision of myself in a suit and heels sitting behind a desk popped into my mind—with the occasional specialty-coffee-order-pickup-run.

HOLD IT! THIS ISN’T WHAT I’D HAD PLANNED!

Well... does it really matter what I want? Does it matter what I’d planned for myself? Not really. I just think it does. Sometimes I forget that. My best advice that I often give people is the one thing I just can’t seem to do: chill out. Calm down. It will work out. God’s in control. I promise you it won’t be easy, and it will suck BIG alot, but in the end God will accomplish exactly what he wants to, and if you’re in tune with him it will be what you want too. Easier said than done, friends.

Life is a rollercoaster operated by God. You go up and down and over and under and sometimes it gets so bad you even lose your cookies—but God will never let you derail. If he did you’d die. And that won’t happen because he’s already saved you. But hey, if you don’t get on in the first place, you’ll miss the ride.

Late this afternoon the church I’m doing my internship at called me and asked if I would lead worship tomorrow (Sunday). Well pin a tail on me and call me a donkey!

“So, Cheri... what will you do after you graduate?”

“No clue. I don’t make my own plans anymore. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”